


Wild Happy Little Pill

by sooyeollie



Series: Songs for Chansoo [3]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 01:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18378620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sooyeollie/pseuds/sooyeollie
Summary: Chanyeol has been told that he shouldn't have feelings for his best friend, Doh Kyungsoo. Not now. Not ever. But he can't stop.





	Wild Happy Little Pill

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Troye Sivan's [Wild](https://youtu.be/3awzvNrKDsg)

_He's really beautiful._ Chanyeol thinks to himself as he stares at his classmate slash best friend, Doh Kyungsoo, who is sitting two seats in front of him. Chanyeol likes to steal glances at the younger, sometimes outright staring at him. He likes to watch Kyungsoo taking notes, or watch Kyungsoo doodling on his textbook when he's bored and sleepy, or watch Kyungsoo tapping his foot to some melodies that he has inside his own head. Sometimes if Chanyeol is lucky, Kyungsoo would look back at him and smiles, and Chanyeol would lose his focus for the rest of the class period.   
  
Chanyeol remembers how he ended up in his current seat. Kyungsoo was late for their very first day of high school so he didn't really get the chance to pick his own seat. He sat in the back, struggling to see the writings on the board in front of the class. He kept squinting his eyes, widening it, squinting it, widening it again. Chanyeol noticed this, and in between the first and second period he came over to Kyungsoo.   
  
_"Hi, do you wanna switch seats with me? I think it's better for me to sit in the back since I'm tall and I might block the other's view." Chanyeol gave his most genuine smile. The truth is no one has ever complained about his height, he just wanted to save Kyungsoo from the suffering of not being able to see clearly._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Are you sure?" Kyungsoo asked, his expression is hopeful._ _  
_ _  
_ _Chanyeol nodded._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Thank you so much," he begins gathering his stuff. "I have astigmatism so sitting in the second row would definitely help. Thank you."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"I'm Chanyeol." he reached out to shake Kyungsoo's hand and the younger quickly responded._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Kyungsoo." and that was the beginning of their friendship._   
  
Since they switched seats, Chanyeol gets called out by their teachers more often for daydreaming - mostly about Kyungsoo. Even up to this day, he still gets called out.   
  
"Park Chanyeol, can you please repeat what I just explained to the class?"   
  
"Uh, uhm, we were talking about Romeo and Juliet." Chanyeol answers nervously as the whole class is now staring at him.   
  
"Right, and?" the teacher asks again.   
  
"And uh, I," he glances at Kyungsoo who is smiling in amusement at him. "I kinda forget the specific things we're talking about."   
  
"We were talking about the poison, Chanyeol, and what it symbolizes." the teacher supplies.   
  
"Ah, yea, yea, right," Chanyeol looks at Kyungsoo again and then he could _feel_ the answer. "It symbolizes how much they love each other that they'd do just about anything to be together. Even if it against everything around them."   
  
Kyungsoo keeps staring at Chanyeol, but his expression is unreadable. He turns back around to face the front of the classroom. And Chanyeol really meant what he said, he'd do just about anything to be with Kyungsoo, even if it againsts everything around them.   


  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
"Hey," Kyungsoo jogs towards Chanyeol who is standing in front of his locker. "You seem distracted today. Are you okay? You're not sick, are you?" Kyungsoo touches Chanyeol's forehead to feel if his best friend is having a fever.   
  
"I'm fine, Soo. Just had a little daydream," Chanyeol chuckles. “As usual.”   
  
"That's good, I thought you were sick. But you still look quite stressed." Kyungsoo frowns.   
  
"Really? I feel fine though."   
  
"Hey!" Kyungsoo tucks at Chanyeol's arm, he looks like a kid begging for a candy. "We should go to the playground after school. Okay?"   
  
Chanyeol laughs, Kyungsoo really needs to stop being this adorable or Chanyeol might fall harder for him and he's not supposed to do that, at least that's what people always tell him. "Anything for my best friend." he finally says, emphasizing on the word best friend, trying to convince himself that it's all they'll ever be.   
  
"See you later, Yeol. I'll meet you here."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are sitting next to each other on the swings. Sometimes Kyungsoo would take Chanyeol's hand and swing them together. Chanyeol would just stare at their intertwined hands and hope that they'll always be able to do that whenever and wherever they want, but of course they can't.   
  
"Hey, do you think you'll ever find love in this small town?" Kyungsoo asks, still with their hands intertwined together.   
  
"Why the sudden question, Soo?"   
  
"Nothing, it's just that we talked about Romeo and Juliet in class and it got me thinking." Kyungsoo tries not to sound so serious and chuckles.   
  
"I'm sure there are many girls that would line up to be your lover."   
  
Kyungsoo scoffs, "You think so?" he looks at their hands then looks up to Chanyeol. "But what if it's not the person that I want to love me?"   
  
Chanyeol looks back at Kyungsoo, his eyes turn soft at the sight of the younger, "Then maybe you should try to make that person love you. You know, just love them continuously until they love you back."   
  
"Sounds like a death wish to me."   
  
"Maybe that's what it takes." Chanyeol shrugs, his feet are kicking at the sand below. _Maybe that's what it takes to show his love for Kyungsoo,_ he thought.   
  
"We're not Romeo and Juliet, Yeol."   
  
Chanyeol just smiles at Kyungsoo before pulling his hand away and starts moving in the swings. Kyungsoo is right, they're not Romeo and Juliet because Chanyeol is pretty sure that his feeling for Kyungsoo is unrequited.   
  
Kyungsoo starts moving in his swings too, they're now competing who can swing higher and faster. They're laughing freely as if they're in their own little world, Chanyeol could only wish that it stays this way for a long time.   
  
"Let's see who can jump the farthest, Yeol!"   
  
"Ha, you're short, you sure you wanna challenge me to that?"   
  
"Shut up and just prove yourself."   
  
"Fine. On 3." Chanyeol says in a determined tone. Kyungsoo smiles widely, he knows he just activated the competitive side of Chanyeol and he likes to tease that Chanyeol.   
  
"1, 2, 3!" and they jump. Chanyeol lands a little farther than Kyungsoo, but it's only because of his long legs. Kyungsoo doesn't mind if he loses, he just wanna have a laugh.   
  
Chanyeol moves closer to Kyungsoo until they're laying on their back side by side. They stare at the trees that block the sunlight above them for a few seconds before turning to each other. They smile at each other, neither could tell the meaning behind it. Chanyeol keeps on staring at Kyungsoo's facial features, he wants to touch, to kiss, to keep him close. Without much thinking, he leans in closer to Kyungsoo, slowly, carefully, like he's calculating his move. He's checking if Kyungsoo will move away as he moves closer, but the younger just stays still. Kyungsoo parts his lips, Chanyeol stops for a second.   
  
Then he snaps back to reality, they can't do this. Not here, not now, not ever. So he reaches out to caress Kyungsoo's hair, pretending to clean up something there when it's perfectly fine.   
  
"You got something on your hair." he explains.   
  
"Ah," Kyungsoo chuckles awkwardly. "I thought you were going to kiss me." he rolls his eyes, laughing like it's a joke.   
  
"Of course not." Chanyeol joins the awkward laugh.   
  
"Yea, why would you right?"   
  
"Yea."   
  
Silence. An awkward one, not the usual comfortable silence.   
  
"Hey," Kyungsoo breaks the silence, grabbing his bag. "Race to the house." he gets up then starts running towards the direction of their neighbourhood.   
  
Chanyeol gets up as fast as he could, grabs his bag, and races his way to Kyungsoo.   
  
"Your little legs keep challenging me." Chanyeol mutters as he runs, getting closer to Kyungsoo.   
  
"Like I said, just prove yourself, Park!"   
  
Chanyeol laughs. Suddenly he feels like everything moves in slow motion, he could see Kyungsoo looks back at him, smiling brightly and laughing as they run home. When they're close enough, Kyungsoo reaches out and takes Chanyeol's hand and run together. Everything is still in slow motion to Chanyeol, their hands are intertwined once again and he could feel the warmness and thrills in his body. It feels right yet scary at the same time, like his hands are created to hold Kyungsoo's but they're not supposed to do that - "Men are meant to love and become one with women" he heard one of the preachers at church said. He's been told this ever since he was a kid until it gets to the point he starts feeling guilty for everything that he feels for his best friend.   
  
Kyungsoo is right, Chanyeol has been distracted, he doesn't even realize that they've arrived in front of Kyungsoo's house and that Kyungsoo still hasn't let go of his hand.   
  
"Yeol!" Kyungsoo laughs.   
  
"I love you." Chanyeol blurts out.   
  
"What?"   
  
"What?"   
  
They stare at each other in confusion and in silence.   
  
"I've probably been thinking about Valentine's day, it's tomorrow. So I've just been making a mental list of the people I love." Chanyeol reasons out.   
  
"Ah, of course, we're best friends after all. Of course you love me." Kyungsoo replies with a small smile, staring at their intertwined hands.   
  
"Yea."   
  
"Right, uhm, I guess I should get going." Kyungsoo says, tilting his head towards his house.

"Yea, okay."   
  
Kyungsoo lets go of Chanyeol's hands awkwardly, "Bye Yeol, I'll see you tomorrow."   
  
"See you, Soo." Chanyeol waves before awkwardly walking away, crossing the road and heads to his house.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chanyeol goes inside his room, places his bag on the floor, then takes a seat on his chair. He looks out the window and replays everything that happened today with Kyungsoo. Everything was awkward yet felt amazing at the same time. He just doesn't get it. Whatever Kyungsoo does, it makes his heart flutter. It was overwhelming when he first realized his feelings for his best friend, admitting it to himself is another overwhelming experience. Now it gets too overwhelming because he's aware of his feelings and everything Kyungsoo. Maybe he should (indirectly) confess to his best friend? Tomorrow is Valentine's day, he knows that it is a cliché excuse but it's better than nothing.   
  
Chanyeol grabs a pen and a piece of a paper. He begins to write,   
  
"Dear Kyungsoo,"   
  
Stop. What is he supposed to write? How do one confess to his own best friend? Chanyeol stares at the blank paper for a few seconds. Then it turns to minutes. Minutes turns to hours. Chanyeol runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. He gets up from his seat, pacing around his room. How is he supposed to tell Kyungsoo about his feelings? Chanyeol has always thought that this kind of scene is cliché and that he will never get through it. Jokes on him.   
  
_"This is so cliché, Soo," Chanyeol said when they were watching some romance movie together. "They're exaggerating it, he could just go and say his feelings the way it is. No need for this bullshit."_ _  
_ _  
_ _Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, leaning on Chanyeol's shoulder, "That's just cause you haven't found the one you wanna confess your feelings to. It's a lot harder than you thought."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Yea? And how exactly do you know this? Do you have someone you wanna confess your feelings to?" Chanyeol turned slightly to look at Kyungsoo._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Maybe I do. But I can't." Kyungsoo closed his eyes, his smile disappearing. "Let's go to sleep, Yeol."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"But the movie.." before Chanyeol could finish his sentence Kyungsoo has wrapped an arm around Chanyeol's waist._   
  
And now Chanyeol realize that he's living that cliché scene. Confessing his feelings is a lot harder than he thought. Kyungsoo was right.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chanyeol runs through the school hallway, he overslept this morning. He went to bed at 3.30 AM after writing and rewriting his confession letter for the whole night. Most of the students have gone to their classes, so he has no problem of bumping into anyone. He was about to make a turn when he realizes something. He should use this opportunity to slip his letter to Kyungsoo's locker. He turns around and runs to the locker that belongs to his best friend slash the subject of his love, he looks around - just in case someone will catch him in the act, when he decides that it's safe, he slips the letter as fast as he could from the top.   
  
He enters the classroom, panting after running around, all eyes are on him including Kyungsoo's. The teacher happens to be one of those who calls the student over and asks them why they're late and gives a little lecture about tardiness. Kyungsoo is no longer looking at Chanyeol, instead he's writing something on a piece of paper. Chanyeol is curious about it. He'll ask Kyungsoo later. But it turns out that Chanyeol doesn't have to wait for too long. Kyungsoo has slipped that note into Chanyeol's hand when the taller passed his seat.   
  
_'I thought you weren't coming. I'm glad you came.'_   
  
Chanyeol reads the note. This isn't the first time that Chanyeol is late for school, but this is the first time he gets a note from Kyungsoo for being late. Kyungsoo was waiting for him. No matter how this day might end, at least it started great.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hi Soo." Chanyeol comes from behind, starling Kyungsoo who's standing in front of his locker while holding a piece of paper.   
  
Chanyeol sees the paper and.. Oh. That's his confession letter. He wants to make a run for it but that'll be awkward, but it's also risky since Kyungsoo might become suspicious and find out that it's from Chanyeol. He ponders on his thought for a few seconds before deciding that he's staying.   
  
"There you go again, getting distracted." Kyungsoo says, waving the paper in front of Chanyeol's face.   
  
"Ah, sorry, Soo. Were you saying something?"   
  
"Yea, I was just telling you that I got a letter from god knows who." Kyungsoo turns his eyes to read the letter.   
  
"What does it say?" Chanyeol asks as if he's not the one who spent hours to write it.   
  
"It's a confession, I guess." Kyungsoo looks at Chanyeol straight in the eyes and Chanyeol almost look away.   
  
"Who do you think is the sender?"   
  
Kyungsoo maintains the eye contact. He's not looking away from Chanyeol. It makes Chanyeol wants to be swallowed to the center of the earth. He's holding his breath. What if Kyungsoo finds out that it's from him?   
  
"No idea." Kyungsoo shrugs, closing his locker before putting the love letter inside his pocket.   
  
"It could be Sooyoung, you know. She's tall enough to put the letter on top of your locker."   
  
"I didn't say that it fell from the top of my locker, Yeol. How do you know?" Kyungsoo begins to walk towards the school exit with Chanyeol following behind.   
  
"Uh," is this the end of Chanyeol's life? Is this how his confession would end up? "I was just guessing."   
  
"Yea, sure."   
  
"Or it could be Seungwan if the letter is slipped through the bottom of your locker." Chanyeol tries again.   
  
"Or it could be you? Since you're tall."   
  
"Huh? Me? Why would I?"   
  
"Yea, you wouldn't, right?" Kyungsoo's voice sounds like a whisper as he looks down at the ground. He looks disappointed.   
  
They both fall into silence as they walk home, Chanyeol glances at Kyungsoo from time to time, wondering what Kyungsoo is thinking ever since their last conversation but he's too afraid to ask.   
  
"Oh, I almost forgot," Kyungsoo finally breaks the silence, pulling out a box from his bag. "For you. Happy Valentine's Day, Yeol."   
  
Chanyeol takes the box from Kyungsoo's hand and opens it. There are 6 heart-shaped chocolates, with one white letter decorating each chocolate. PCY on the first three chocolates and DKS on the other three  chocolates.   
  
"Did you make it yourself?" Chanyeol looks at Kyungsoo who is still facing the ground.   
  
Kyungsoo nods, a faint blush appears on his cheeks.   
  
"Thank you, Soo. This is the best thing I've ever received on Valentine's day."   
  
"I hope it doesn't taste so bad." Kyungsoo says softly.   
  
"Of course it won't! I already know it'll taste good. Thank you my Kyungsoo." then Chanyeol realizes what he just called his best friend, but it's too late to take back those words. And maybe Kyungsoo doesn't hear it because he's not reacting to it.   
  
"Yeol, you wanna have a sleepover later? It's been a while since we've done that." Kyungsoo finally responds.   
  
"Sure!" Chanyeol answers to quickly. He hopes that his feelings for Kyungsoo will not be so obvious.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(( Listen to [ this ](https://youtu.be/eXeKoGx9zoM) for the next part ))

  
  
  


  
An action movie is playing on Kyungsoo's laptop. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are laying side by side on Kyungsoo's single bed. There's a small distance between them, their shoulders barely touched. Chanyeol is tensed for being so close to Kyungsoo, he's not usually like this but this isn't the first time he's like this. Kyungsoo is staring at the movie mindlessly, he's not even paying attention to anything but the person beside him. The tension is too strong to go unnoticed.   
  
"I know." Kyungsoo suddenly says.   
  
Chanyeol stops breathing for a second, he's not looking away from the screen, too scared and too nervous to look at the man he loves, "What do you know?"   
  
"The letter."   
  
"What about it?" Chanyeol keeps his eyes on the movie, but he doesn't know what he's looking at.   
  
Kyungsoo sits up to close his laptop and puts it away, "This isn't a conversation we should have while a movie is playing."   
  
Chanyeol stays quiet, sitting up and staring at the wall in front of them while waiting for Kyungsoo to say something again. He could feel that Kyungsoo is staring at him, but he can't stare back. He's afraid, he might not be able to control himself if he stares at those heart-shaped lips. He's been thinking about kissing those lips ever since he accepted his feeling's existence. And he shouldn't do that, not now, not ever. That's what people always tell him.   
  
"Yeol," Kyungsoo touches Chanyeol's hand that's resting on his side. Chanyeol is suddenly frozen in his position, unable to do anything. "Look at me in the eyes and tell me it's not from you. Only then I'll believe that it's from Sooyoung or Seungwan."   
  
Chanyeol stays quiet. Kyungsoo knows. He knows that Chanyeol can't lie to his eyes.   
  
"Or any other girls," Kyungsoo adds, emphasizing on the word ‘girls’. He waits for Chanyeol to answer. Nothing. "Chanyeol, my Chanyeol, answer me."   
  
Chanyeol starts to tear up, he can't look at Kyungsoo. His feelings for the younger is too much, too overwhelming. It pains him because he knows he won't be able to say his true feelings out loud, not without these walls protecting them from being heard and seen. Isn't it better to keep it to himself? All these times he's been doing fine with acting like Kyungsoo's best friend who doesn't harbor any romantic feeling for him.   
  
"Look at me." Kyungsoo's soft fingers touch Chanyeol's cheek, guiding him to face Kyungsoo.   
  
Chanyeol looks up for a second before looking down at their hands. It's too much, so he looks away again.   
  
"Why wouldn't look you at me, Yeol?"   
  
"It's, I can't," Chanyeol says weakly, it's too soft it almost goes unheard. "Not with this feeling." he adds as tears slip from his eyes.   
  
Kyungsoo lets go of Chanyeol's hand and reaches out to touch Chanyeol's other cheek. He wipes the tears with his thumb. Chanyeol's teary eyes finally look up at the man in front of him. He's surprised to find that Kyungsoo's eyes are reflecting his own, just as teary as his. They stare at each other, not saying anything but they understand each other just fine.   
  
"Soo, I," he whispers. Even with these walls protecting them, he's still afraid that the world could hear him. "I lov-"   
  
"I already know. Me too." Kyungsoo cuts him off. He leans closer until his breathe touches Chanyeol's skin, lips hovering over Chanyeol's.   
  
"Soo.."   
  
Kyungsoo moves closer and their lips finally touch. Chanyeol closes his eyes, not because he's finally kissing Kyungsoo, but because he's scared of what's going to happen if they get caught. When Kyungsoo moves his lips, Chanyeol can't help but follows and finally he's kissing back, not caring about the world outside these walls.   
  
Chanyeol's hands move to hold Kyungsoo's waist, it's not something that he hasn't done, but it's a different feeling now, like he's holding his world and he's afraid to let go. Chanyeol slips his hands under Kyungsoo's shirt. The younger shivers at the sudden coldness that hits his skin. Kyungsoo moves to sit on Chanyeol's lap, not breaking the kiss.   
  
"Yeol.." he moans as he runs his fingers through Chanyeol's hair. His breathing becomes heavy as he pulls away. "I lov-"   
  
Chanyeol cuts him off with another kiss. He bites Kyungsoo's lower lip before slipping his tongue in Kyungsoo's mouth. When Kyungsoo craves for more, Chanyeol pulls away, taking off Kyungsoo's shirt. The younger is chasing his lips again, but Chanyeol quickly presses his lips against Kyungsoo's neck, sucking it. Kyungsoo throws his head back in pleasure, "Chanyeol.. Oh god."   
  
When Kyungsoo starts getting louder than their whispering voice, Chanyeol starts kissing his lips again, pushing him against the bed so now Kyungsoo lays on his back and moaning to his mouth.   
  
"Off, off.." Kyungsoo says, hands reaching down to pull Chanyeol's shirt off.   
  
"You're so beautiful, Soo." Chanyeol says,  staring at Kyungsoo's swollen lips before taking off his shirt.   
  
Kyungsoo smiles, admiring Chanyeol's body. He has seen this body before, but he has never had the chance to show his admiration freely. His hands touch Chanyeol's arms before moving to reach the back of his neck, "Come back here."   
  
Without another word Chanyeol presses his lips against Kyungsoo again.   
  
"I promise we'll escape this city and love freely."


End file.
